This is officially step one in making my life a little bit better. For me. Not really for anyone else (although, I do have plenty of little lovebugs for whom I care deeply about), but I need to do this for me. My emotional and mental stability have not been quite up to par lately, and for that my friends and family – I am sorry. Wait, who am I kidding? I am sorry to ME. Dear self, please forgive me. I know I have abused you greatly in the past few years. Not only with arguably excessive amounts of alcohol and not enough sleep, but with emotions gone wild. My emotions have been far more intense to deal with than a kick-ass hangover, and I’m on a mission to end the quest in finding out why the hell I can’t keep it together at age 30.
That’s right, in the 12th month of 2016 I turned 30, and along with that comes adult responsibilities (and night cream, because no one wants wrinkles. I actually heard you should start Botox in your 20s…). People do great things every day and I sit around organizing my closet more times than anyone should. I think what I’m trying to convince myself to do is make a ‘life goal’ list. Or maybe just some little tidbits that I can look back on and say “Ah yes, remember to shut up when you know having the last word will only get you into trouble.” So whoever is watching over me, or guiding my spirit in some way…please help. Here we go… 2017 will be a good year.
1. Practice living yoga. Not only the asana, but each limb of yoga. I completed by 200 hour teacher training this past summer, and it was hands down the most amazing experience of my life. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, I can go on… but over the past few months I’ve watched it slip away, err, let it slip away. I know I feel better when I practice yoga, so what happened? Oh wait, I know, life happened. I’ve gotten lazy and let my stress take over. I am finally getting the boot. My temple is finally kicking me out, and I’m not ready to leave, so I’m taking a stand to bring back the yogi in me.
2. Read more books. I know reading makes me happier than an all-day marathon of House Hunters International. Maybe I’ll start a little monthly book review here to hold myself accountable.
3. Keep your mouth closed. Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and think about what to say before you spill your guts. It seems as though I have never grasped this concept.
4. Spend more time with friends. As we get older, friendships become work. In order to maintain friendships you need to put out the effort you expect in return. It’s very easy to let close relationships take the back seat to your 9-5, your kid, and your family, amongst the many other monotonous things we deem as priorities. Mike is very good at keeping his friendships alive, and me… well not so much. Even though I’m drawn to hermit-like tendencies, 2017 will be the year of the thriving friendship. Maybe I’ll even make some new friends, maybe.
5. Stop being a bitch. Do I really need to elaborate? I think I need to publicly apologize to everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis. I’m a brat and I’m sorry. And you better believe I’m that little kid that would rather sit in the corner and sulk than just admit I was wrong. Two words. Is it that difficult? For me, yes. But, hello! I’m trying. Hey, I put it on my list, so that means it HAS to happen, right?
6. Keep up with my passions. I have probably started 10 or so blogs since 1998, and none have lasted (RIP Xanga). I’ll come up with a great idea, then realize no one cares. No one is reading. Well I care, and I guess this makes me feel good, so what does it matter? Also, I need to give myself way more credit for everything I do.
Well this is becoming far too long for anyone to enjoy reading. Last goal – stop being so extensive and unrestrained with this blog. Quit while you’re ahead, no one likes word vomit.