DAY 1: It’s official.

I woke up this morning and did not want to move. I was SO tired. I sent off my last day of having a drink for 30 days straight with a shot of whiskey. In the past, that would have been followed by at least 2-3 more drinks, but not last night! One goodbye shot.

It was nice to get out of bed not feeling like I got hit by a truck (damn you, hangovers), but I did my usual; grab a cup of coffee and head out to walk the dog around 7am. I’m also trying to replace coffee, but that’s another challenge for another month. Taking one clutch beverage away is enough. It’s about 10am now, and I have a bit of an upset stomach, but it could be from my breakfast. Day one, no alcohol – let’s do this!

DAY 4: It seems as though I can always come up with a reason to grab a drink.

Whether to celebrate, drown my sorrows, or even just hanging out with friends, booze is just always there. I want a drink.

DAY 8: Getting there.

I’m finding it really hard to skip the booze when everyone around me is drinking. I’m not expecting anyone to do this alongside of me – this is my challenge for myself. It definitely makes any sort of “fun” environment a bit depressing. I’m not the most social butterfly, and drinking always loosened me up when I was out with friends. I guess I’m learning how to have a conversation all over again, sans liquid courage.

DAY 18: Over the halfway hump!

I caved. Day 9 I had a mimosa with my mom, stepdad, and husband. Along with a bagel (sue me). A HUGE level of defeat, but I decided that one mishap won’t allow me to spiral out of control. If there’s one thing I wanted to get out of this little experiment it is that alcohol doesn’t control me, I control my relationship with it. Going strong since day 9.

DAY 24: Alcohol makes me feel TERRIBLE.

GUYS ANOTHER SLIP. Out with friends, felt embarrassed, had a drink, then two. At this point in my journey, I’m realizing that drinking makes me feel so so terrible. Even reading back to my day 1, I was always tired, my skin was so blah-looking, my stomach literally hurt every day. The amount that I was drinking was poisoning my body. So scary to think about, but at least I’m learning…

DAY 30: Go me!

I did it, friends! Pretty shocking that I only had 2 mishaps, but I really feel amazing. I sleep so soundly, I wake up at 6am with no problem, I have energy, I’m happy, I’m not hurting all the time. The benefits are just so obvious and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t even want to celebrate with a cocktail! I’m sure I will allow myself to have a fun drink every now and then, but I definitely don’t plan to get back onto the booze-every-night train. I’m sure I wouldn’t even be able to handle the amount of alcohol I was consuming anyway.

Overall learnings… Mocktails are always a good idea. No one cares that you’re not drinking. Once you get over the initial reaction when you pass up the first round, it’s smooth sailing. You don’t have to be in pain every day. Life is good as-is. Alcohol fueled my depression and gave permission for my anger to come out full force. I never realized how mean I was to those closest to me (sorry hubby) when I was drinking. Overall, I’m just so pleased with myself and happy to be able to move past that dark little pinpoint in my life.